What happens when nothing you do is appreciated? Why are those who are less valuable, fraternal, helpful, and harmonious more appreciated, while you are overlooked?
Hard work within an organization should ideally give you an edge over those who don't put in the effort. If you're struggling to move forward despite working hard, it might indicate a lack of understanding of the organization's or church's core values. Alternatively, you could be in a role or position that doesn't suit your skills or interests. Additionally, be mindful that peer resentment can often arise when someone exerts more effort than others, causing colleagues to feel uncomfortable or inadequate due to their own inactivity.
Suppose you're being rejected for fulfilling your duties or promoting your organization's values. In that case, speaking to your superiors privately helps ensure the issue isn't on your end. Remember, Crowley valued those in rags. However, recognizing one's faults requires a high level of self-honesty. People often justify their actions to appear blameless. Make sure you don't fall into that trap.
Remember that the effort you put in is primarily for your benefit, not for the recognition of others. This is particularly true in an initiatory organization where your work may go unnoticed. If your efforts are sincere, they will ultimately bring you rewards that far exceed any external validation.
It's important to understand that being noble for its own sake should not be the ultimate goal; instead, the focus should be on service. Service should come first, last, and always. Through service, we develop true nobility, meaning one should work for the sake of helping one’s Brothers and Sisters. Be wary when too much emphasis is placed on "service to the Order" when "the Order" isn't benefiting members as stated in their mission statement.
Nobility often arises in situations that are beyond our control. Our character becomes evident during difficult times. So, stick with it until your patience runs out or until you no longer feel the need for the organization or church. However, it's crucial to communicate with someone before making any decisions. They may not be aware of your feelings, and there could be valid reasons for them not to include you. Always talk things through before taking action. Remember The Four Powers of The Sphinx.
It's essential to recognize that no group, church, or fraternity is immune to power grabs. In some cases, higher positions may even encourage such power grabs. Never underestimate the influence of the good old boys' network because it truly exists. I refer to organizations like these as "Wood Chippers of the Soul." I say this only partly in jest, as I have experienced it, and it is brutal.
Keep your truth and honor intact. If you allow the actions of elders or officers to undermine the spirituality you cherish, then they win. The Current persists despite their attempts to misuse their positions within the group. Simply put, it isn't Thelema's fault if those representing it are unethical. If your true passion is Thelema, then there is no reason to let a few misguided individuals or groups spoil your experience.
Most importantly, if you genuinely know that you do not belong there, for all that is holy, do not adjust your expectations, ethos, or magical paradigms just to fit in. If you are a Thelemite, you cannot stomach that because it will run contrary to who you are. If the paradigm is wholesome, hold on to it, even if no one else is. If there is truth and light in the essence of your teachings, it would be a significant and regrettable mistake to abandon them simply because the leaders are misguided.